Without a Traceroute

Today I went and got a haircut. It had gotten really long and was rapidly trending into Jesus and/or dirty hippie territory. Plus, I figured I had better get it done in the Netherlands since this is probably the last country where I can expect the hairdresser to speak English fluently and understand what I’m asking for. Before I shameless post camwhore pics of my new haircut, I’d like to share with you a few of the haircuts I didn’t get. As far as I know, both these kids are Spanish. For reasons that are unclear to me, the Spanish are the reigning European champions of bad hair.

The Rat Tail: I’m really not sure what the thinking on this hairdo is. It’s either a really small, off-center ponytail or one, really long braid. Either way, it ain’t pretty. Every time I saw it, I felt like a long tailed macaque had somehow burrowed its way into his scalp.

Uh, dude, I think there's something on your head

The Dread-Mullet: What do you get when you combine a ridiculous redneck haircut with a styling white kids only wear right after they’ve “gotten really into Bob Marley lately”? That’s right, the dread-mullet (a.k.a. “mulletlocks”). I guess he’s set in case a monster-truck-rally-slash-ganja-fest spontaneously breaks out. Actually, that sounds insanely awesome and somebody should organize one immediately.

Business up front, rasta-party in the back

So, after all the buildup, tada! Feel free to mock me as mercilessly as I’ve mocked the poor Spaniards.

Yes, this would also be my MySpace shot